Couples Therapy for Parents

Lately, when you’ve become upset with your child, you have noticed a deeper anger or frustration with your partner that follows.  It’s a nagging feeling that grows and makes it frustratingly impossible to be present with your child or to connect with them.  You are just so angry!

Maybe you can hear your partner making statements about how you parent or what you are doing wrong.  Maybe they are even blaming the challenges with your child on you, like it is your fault your child is having a hard time or is giving you a hard time. Or maybe you are blaming your partner.

You thought that you would have children and easily become a family, but instead, you have found that you and your partner (or other caregivers) don’t agree on a lot of things.  It’s just so hard and it gets so heated!  You wonder why all these other issues keep coming up?

Let’s Address the Relationship Problems

At UplfitME Attachment-Based Therapy we offer a solution.  Many times, children are brought into therapy when parents and caregivers are concerned about behaviors or concerned that they aren’t connecting with their child.  As therapy progresses, the therapist notices that there are actually a lot of challenges between the parents and that their relationship is directly impacting the child.  While it might be difficult to hear or acknowledge, couples therapy could be the best solution to helping your child.

Through Couples Therapy, we can support anyone identifying as a parent or caregiver ,to begin processing and healing the challenges that are between them.  It doesn’t even have to be about parenting.  You are complex human beings, and your relationship is bigger than just being a parent.   Couples therapy is available to help you work through disagreements, infidelity, different parenting styles, changes and shifts in the relationship, and challenges connecting with one another.

How Would Couples Therapy Help?

So many couples find themselves in a position of feeling unhappy after they become parents or feeling scared of the commitment of becoming parents.  It is very common. When you’ve added a person or more to your dyad, it creates more and more complexity in your life and your relationship.  Having children can make you more aware of the negative feelings you have or more aware of just how hard life can be.

You might notice your own negative experiences as a child coming up more now that you have kids, or you might feel less connected with your partner because you are too overwhelmed or too anxious with the demands of parenting.  Couples might feel trapped by their circumstances and wonder if it is better for the kids if they stay together even if they are angry and unhappy versus separating and dividing the family.

I’m Not Sure We’re Ready for Couples Help

It can be scary to say out loud, that things aren’t working. What if it leads to divorce or separation?  What if we allow ourselves to admit that we are unhappy, and it tears the family apart?  We didn’t get to this place overnight; it slowly seeped in and changed our family over time.  There is a history of stuff we’re going to need to address.

You might also feel like it’s perfectly normal to feel angry and resentful towards your partner.  It’s not like things are unsafe or that you are yelling at each other all the time.  It’s probably better to just keep going the way you’ve been going and stay together for the kids.  You’ve got the kids in therapy and things work well enough to keep the house running, so it should all be ok.

This Could Change Everything

We have seen couples start couples therapy and find the path to being happy again.  By allowing themselves the space to heal together, the rest of the family benefited, and things became less stressful and painful at home.  In addressing the couple’s challenges families became healthier.

Parents have also found support and guidance when they knew it was time to divorce or separate, coming together to help their kids through this difficult transition.  Children who are going through a divorce make it through more successfully when their parents can work together.  Having a safe space to discuss the difficulties in making this transition go smoothly and handling the big feelings of the kids is important.

We Will Help You Focus on the Big Picture

Our therapists will support you and your partner as parents and individuals.  Therapists are trained in understanding how trauma and attachment impact relationships, knowing that becoming a couple can be difficult and becoming a parent can be even more difficult.  Sometimes the wounds from childhood relationships, with our own parents and caregivers, come up and get in the way.  Or, sometimes couples have gotten themselves into patterns and habits that seem impossible to break – they think they are doing the best thing for their families and feel unsure if things could or even should change.  But it doesn’t have to be this way and you can be happy again.  You just need to call.  A therapist is available to help and support your unique concerns and needs.

Check here to learn more about our couples and family therapist Kaley Blair, MFTC.